It’s been a while hasn’t it?

Granted this could account for many a subject but I think we’l focus on the clean version.

I won’t be returning to University to complete my third year.  Lack of funds mean an inability to put a deposit and a months rent down on a new flat…ipso facto, I will be homeless.  A bag lady.  Granted a rather cool bag lady with lots of nice nicknacks, trinkets, not tinfoil, old shoes but lots of bin bags and furniture.  I also can’t stand Kingston anymore.  My life sadly, as dull as it is to admit, is based in Ashford.

So, it’s the all seeing eye that has prompted me to look for a good job.  Well, this might be stretching it a bit and I’m aware a girl in my financial and uneducated position (i.e. lack of degree) means I shouldn’t be too picky, but no retail, call centers or cold calling for me.  I have a short fuse as it is without having to re-live countless years of abuse from snotty customers and their arrogent views that the world revolves around them.  I briefly considered the fire service(for about a minute), but only because two fully loaded trucks went past and I couldn’t help wondering how productive I would be in that enviroment.  ‘Your house is on fire?  Try having REAL problems love.’  Or….’Your child is trapped inside the burning inferno?  I’d much rather stay here trying to hit on the fireman thanks.’  Sympathy is a virute.

I have a boyfriend now, of all the things.  I had to ask my girls to hold my hand through the initial stages because I was extremely reluctant to give up being single.  Its good fun and get a lot out of it….like STI’s.  He’s cool.  Rides a motorbike and listens to me constantly yelling at him for driving 192 miles an hour on the way to work.  Threats of ‘if you come off and don’t kill yourself, I fucking will’ quickly ensue.  I know I don’t understand the need for speed because I don’t have a bike, although I do love speed.  But why he can’t just go to the track every weekend and blow off steam I don’t know.  The normal roads aren’t maintained and the slightest thing could result in him landing on his head and ending up as a pile of mush.  People on the roads are retarded so he doesn’t know what to expect every day and the weather factor.  My boyfriend is a speed twat.

I met him on friday night outside three zero at midnight.  He was meant to walk me home after he’d been at work but it was far too early for me to go home. I might be relationshiply (another made up word to add to the list) tied up (so to speak) but this does not mean I’m sacraficing anything. I walked out in a rather nice outfit to be greeted with ‘bloody hell, thought you’d be wearing more clothes.’  Charming.  My friends had my back by calling him a Power Ranger while he was dressed in his leathers.  Don’t think that went down too well to be honest considering I was slumped on the chair with Thom and Gurd crying with laughter.  I used to like the Power Rangers, when I had no sense.  I’ve also been told quite catagorically, that I am not allowed to do anymore drugs.  Hmph.  But speeding at 190 miles an hour is perfectly acceptable.  Bitch bitch bitch. 

This weekend made me realise that my girl mates (I refrain from the obligitory ‘girlfriends’ comment) are amazing!!!

Alex is back this weekend.  I was fretting because I haven’t seen him since the whole ‘you slept with my boyfriend’ debacle (coming from his girlfriend, not him.  That’d just be a bit odd.)  I’m not worried about seeing either of them on my behalf, because in all honesty, one swift punch to chinny and she’l go down and one swift kick to the bollocks for him and he’l go down.  I’m more concerned about the tension that will arise in Oranges due to my presence.  Fear not, I’m off to Ikestock with Tina, Nick, Tara et al.  Never been.  Never heard of any of the bands but it does mean I get to spend all night drinking and laughing in a field with countless others, then sleeping in a tent with the lesbos.  Should be interesting.  I’l get another earbashing if I take anymore hokey cokey with me but sod him. I wish to have a laugh jeeves!!!

Interview for a receptionist job on Wed in Tannery Lane for the NHS.  I think I stand a pretty good chance since I mentioned on the c.v that I was interested in people’s health and my Human Right degree (whats left of it) proves that.  Its becoming increasingly difficult to get any job that doesn’t involve retail to be honest.  They all want someone with experience, even for admin. How hard can answering telephones, talking to people, filing and using the sodding email be!!  I do that on a daily fucking basis.  Must remember not to swear.  ‘You need a wheelchair?  haha bad luck.  No need to get up.’ 

How can companies expect people to have experience if they dont give it to people to start with?  I mean, I’m not a chimp…honestly, so I can’t see me struggling.  I went to Ashford Girls School don’t you know!!!!

On that point, Ashford Girls School has gone co-ed!!!?  WTF?  I lucked out there.  16 years of girls (which may be appealing to some, but not for someone that hates most girls to start off with.)  Then as soon as I left it went co-ed right up to 18.  If I’d been brought up with boys at school I doubt it would have been my downfall as soon as I hit college like it has done.  

I hear Strawberry Moons is opening where the delightful M20 was….haha that was a great club.  Bring back Flattys I say!  Sticky floors and scummy people.  Liquid is far too ‘refined’ now.  Saying that, I was close to a fight the other Thursday night. In reality, no matter how much I would defend myself, the woman was massive and would have smooshed me. 

I was watching Death Proof for the billionth time last night and realised that I want a mix tape.  Not a c.d, I want a mix tape.  I even have two cassettes to play it through….thats how retro I am.  It would be so romantic.  Filled with Tarantino esq music.

 Hmm….